Sri Lanka Diary
Day 1 thursday
Got to heathrow airport to find everyone very excited. Became starstruck as the Birmingham football team were present.
Qatar – when leaving plane I thought the engines were making the surrounding air hot, but it was in fact 38oC at 2am.
I had a mini argument with the security man cos he wanted me to take my belt off, which I explained was just rope, but he wasn’t having any of it and tbh he probably would just end up shooting me for being an infidel so took it off.
Lots of gold items in airport and people sleeping in funny positions, eventually found out this was the most comfy way of sleeping. So we orgainsed the movable benches around and made our own bench hovel for English squatters. With about 2 hoursish of sleep with the tannoy systems constantly repeating the same dull information over and over again in multiple languages..
When queuing to get on the plane a wind was blowing that was a lot hotter then the surrounding air! It was like being blown in the face by a blowtorch.
Better plane flight slept a lot and at the end made a friend! A little Sri Lankan chappy, played peek-a-boo with him for a while. Also beat larry at a game of chess on the planes computer thing.
At Colombo airport, and waited for the Dias’ as they were on a different flight. It seemed an eternity, but they eventually turned up with their bits and bobs. Whilst we waited buddhis uncle and family found us… strangely enough very easily as we were the only white people in the arrivals “lounge”, obvious? I think so. He was very kind and chatty and helped us get money, exclaiming the amount we were getting could by a lot. 33,000 Sri Lankan Rupees! MASSIVE wad of cash.
Finally buddhi et al turned up with a massive fridge and washing machine for their new house, which non of them had even seen yet!
Got into a transport van, with a driver whom seemed keen to get us there very quickly. Arrived at a uncles house which was down a bumpy dark thin track, with palm trees lining the road. The house was pleasant with a small garden and lots of fruit bearing trees. Banana (kesels), a lychee-esque (Rhobatan) and coconuts (paul).
Many family members there including grandparents, cousins and second cousins. Had an awkward moment as was the first one to “greet” his gran. Not quite sure on the etiquette, allowed her to approach me. After seeing buddhi bow down to her feet and kiss her on both cheeks, wasn’t sure how I should react. In the end I went for two hands on the shoulders and touching both cheeks on both sides with my face. This seemed to suffice so ill reserce this one for the ladies! Handshakes with the guys seems fine.
All the kids spoke English eve the two small little rascals. I asked the smaller one if it was time for his bedtime. He said “no” quite angrily. Amusingly after a short period outside trying the flavoursome rhombatans, he was sound asleep sprawled over the couch!
They had provided a cake which was specially made, it had “graduation” and “congrats” and “buddhi and friends” which was very touching, along with buddhis uncles speech, moving his gran to tears (once he had translated his initial English speech into singhala. We all held the knife and cut into the cake buddhi then offered the cake to his family members. His gran then offered cake to us, we had to eat it from her hand and again proceed with the “ausitn” greeting.
Spoke with family members and was told by two of the cousins I looked like Andrew flintoff!
Then was dinnertime, not too hungry as very tired, but food was so good had to eat as much as possible! There was a fish (king fish) like a tuna in look and taste. Combined with carrots, leeks. There was a potato dish with a yellow sauce which tasted fantastic. Rice was nice (it was SL rice), had thin noodle-like noodles.. and a very spicy rice thing. An uncle questioned the amount on our plates because he thought it was hot, it was but tasted great. Probably surprised us white boys enjoyed a bit of spice!
For pudding had the bananas from the garden, which were tiny, but had so much flavour and were sweet, very tasty.
After dinner sat outside eating rambotans, with a perfected “nuwan twist” technique. An uncle still maintained it is easier to get a nail in but the buddhi technique was good and worked well. Eventually left and got to buddhis old house he used to live in when he was a billy goat gruff! Got here at 12:30 pm tired! Now its time for bed!
Day 2 Friday
Woke up to buddhi looking for stuff in our room, enquired if it was time to get up, told no its 6 am go back to sleep.
Got up a few hours later for a tommy riddle and heard a funny noise, it sounded like a bird chirping going “hallo, hallo, hallo, hallo” from noisy to quiet, sounded very peculiar. Later on I asked buddhi he looked at me like I was a mad man and no one would believe what I had heard, so still have no idea (this links to a story later on that reveals what it was!!)
Next woke to heather shaking me it was 11:30, wearily got up and had some bread with apple wood jam and some (pasty or pastry (I cant read my writing!)) fish thing.
Sat in the garden played some uno and explored a little around saw a stripy squirrel that made a chirpy noise. Eventually left, buddhis uncle drove us in a small cramp van through what can only be described as a shanty town, with rundown huts along a railway line with swarms of people walking along it.
Got to buddhis new house it looked very nice, balcony up top over looking paddy fields and rooftops. Sat around for a while, had some lunch, then wandered around the local area up the hill to a school, which had a montage of SL history. Back down the hill standing around next to the paddy fields a old man came up to me and touched my arm and asked something, translated “how is SL?” I was told to respond “hondi” (good). He then persisted on touching my arm and asking the same question over and over again. And also told me where the president lives and that the porter of buddhis house was the owner haha. He then proceeded to do the same to dave and larry, found it fairly amusing, though he wouldn’t leave us alone, so slightly annoying. He then tried to follow us into the house so we had to quickly shut the gate. He basically pawed at the gate with puppy dog eyes, looking completely lost (go away nutter). Then out found out he was a friend of the porter whom got rid of him in the end.
Went into a room to help buddhi on a laptop and his grandma touched me on the shoulder and smiled, his mum told me “she loves you!” not quite sure how to react to that!! So smiled back and said “Hi” sheepishly. After lunch gave my plate to the helper maid woman and tried my Singhalese with “es tu tee” (thank you) which got a pleasant surprised response back from her.
Learnt the words peesa and peesee (a = man)_ and (ee = woman), the meaning crazy man/woman! Told my new word to B’s mum, gran and grandpa found this hilarious and laughed (phew, was worried it might actually be fairly offensive!). was told this new word by Bamba who is our age (21) doing medicine. The other cousins of the friendly uncle from the airport are younger 8 – thinula who is very cheeky and sithira who is a bit more quite, but very nice.
Thinula wanted to learn our names. So I was tom and jerry and larry was a pokemon, so we told him his new nickname is “cheeky.”
I then went off in a tuk-tuk to a nearby town with buddhi and his mum, was sooo exciting! Tuk-tuk, cooool! In town crossed the crazy mad road cars, tuk-tuks, lorries, buses in all directions and in no particular lane. Exhilarating! Surprised when a lorry stopped to let us cross the road, got a take away for everyones meal. And buddhis mum treated us to a doughnut type food called Vade (pro: vhadhey)popped into a supermarket and I hid around a corner whilst buddhi negogiated for a tuk-tuk (cos white people = higher prices) then once he got a fee they got me!
Day 3 Saturday
Early start especially considering tired anyway/ haven’t caught up on sleep and paranoid about getting dengee fever after buddhis uncle told us there is an epidemic atm. But even so I woke buddhi up as he was fast asleep, then we went and woke larry and dave up, felt quite cheery and awake. Found the girls were already up and had been since 5 am.
Had some doughnut like bread for BF and the priests came at 8 am, wearing orange outfits (robes) and had fans. One priest ws 95 and he still got the bus to far away places on his tod! LAD! Also when he drank his tea he poured it in the saucer and drank it from there.
They all (priests and family) chanted for around 30 mins, very peaceful and melodious. The head priest did a speech and kindly translated it into English for us. We then had some cake for buddhis sisters (kasuni) bday (the cakes here a sumptuous). Sat around on the top balcony but everytime we went out it rained. So we sat inside and larry decided to go sauntering off somewhere and trod on a glass bowl lacerating his foot! Numpty.
Me and heather then went into town with buddhi and dad in a car (the starlet-express) saw lots of C50’s en route and the traffic was very heavy, I ended up encouraging b’s dad to push and shove through the traffic. We went off to a take-away to buy some fish curry (devilled fish). Walked back along the busy street to a supermarket for veg and we got some orange lollypops that b’s dad recommended.
Lazed around until 7ish when the priest came again for chanting same as the morning but more people. Our two new best friends are sithira and thinula. We palyed rock paper sissors with thinula for a long time. He was very hyperactive today. Told I should be saying to him aeyarda peaceo (he is crazy). We chatted to sithira about SL and he taught us some words. I held the video camera and did a commentary on the goings on. We then played chardes, larry is a genius, at doing the longest most impossible ways for us to get the word! (just watched the highlights with buddhi, looks cool!). and we had dosa for dinner, finally! YUM! Exhausted, early start again tomorrow.
New phrase – mata bada guinee (im hungry)
New word – naraka naraka (naughty naughty) even better in borat voice.
Day 4 Sunday
Again early start got changed pretty much as the priests arrived. Sat in our circle with string in hands (the string was very long and past through everyones hands in a circle) and listened to the chatting.afterwards we were offered blessed water by one priest which you take in your hand (when he pours it into your hand) then drink some, the next priest takes the string from the third priest and ties it around your wrist whilst chanting. The string (I hope I get this right!) symbolises a blessing from the priests.
Then loads of people turned up, the priests too came back there was more chanting, then everyone offered food to the priests. When I went they put their hands out if they want you to stop and you keep going otherwise. Then presents were given out to the priests I gave the eldest a fruit and nut Cadburys chocolate bar. (I don’t think he knew what it was, judging by his inquisitive look, and I wasn’t exactly one to tell him)
We then had some food with everyone offering us more and more food! “would you like some rice?” “ok” (just to be polite) take your plate away comes back as a mountain of rice… Drank some coconut juice/water that Bambas younger brother offered us. Obviously played with thinula and sithira all day, they have sooo much energy! Their knowledge of English is amazing as thinula had blouse as his I-spy and sithira breeze. Quite impressive. I learnt a new word from them “chip-chip” (basically shoo, as in to shoo a dog away).
Was very tired as me and B were up all night talking, so had about 4/5 hours of sleep, thus slept a little and read quietly for some rest. Spoke to B’s uncle and aunty (one whom makes cakes) and told them my Singhalese, they seemed impressed, because they have a nephew in London that cannot speak a word of Singhalese! Looked at old family photos some very funny ones of B. Even earlier start of 4 am tomorrow!!!
Day 5 Monday
The start of ours travels (of SL) today! We had a mini-van bus organised for us, which was due to arrive at 4 am, but was a bit late. We all squeezed into this van like a Chinese cockle picking family as the bus didn’t have enough seats for all us it was taking. The drivers name is Sasanka. His driving is something to be desired, a few hairy moments. First tourist stop! Danwalla rock temple up high on a hill, with large cliff face. The buddhas are carved into the rock and are there from when originally done thousands of years ago. ADD SOME MORE
Onwards to andradthapura to a temple where they knew the head priest (B’s dad knows everyone in SL) then he treated us to dinner at a hotel where the queen also ate when she visited SL. Back at the temple, had cake for Ann’s bday, I spoke to the priest about the rein deer as there were a lot of statues and antlers on walls etc. He told me they are “interesting.”
Went off to our hotel, on the way we saw a ceremony for young pretenders. Kids “applying” to be priest, taking the initial steps to priesthood or monks or something. Hotel is fairly shabby, but funny cos larry is scared of mozzies and went around killing as many as possible for quite a while.
Day 6 Tuesday
In the morning we went off to the oldest tree in the world, the first bo tree. A priest here blessed us and put string around our necks and a white chalk dot on out foreheads (not that it showed up on the pasty white Heather, haha). Due to uncles (now calling buddhis parents uncle and aunty, as this is what they do in SL for other peoples parents they know well) contacts we could drive straight up to the places in the VIP parking, feel above other tourists having to walk miles to the sights, and we get a massive cultural experience, amazing!
Went to priests temple whom invited us after the ceremony at B’s house. In a very rural place in the middle of the “jungle” more like a hot temporal woodland. Had a fascinating tour by the priest sadu. At the bo tree (a sacred tree which was planted from the seed of the very bo tree in which Buddha was enlightened), we went up into the fenced area around the tree and placed some lotus flowers down. Only the boys could do this the girls weren’t allowed, because Buddhists know they are too stupid and smelly… our tour then continued over peculiar rock formations, around lotus ponds and into the woodland. A large rock in the woods, had prehistoric paintings in a sheltered part, amazing to see and the restrictions were negligible as sasanka happily touched the drawing to show us where to look! On the walk tried to spot a SL pheasant but it was pretty elusive, and we made it back down to the temple. Inside they had paintings of all the stories of Buddhism, and there was some space on the wall for more paintings. They were done by donation, and we were offered to have a painting done for us, with our names emblazoned below. We happily accepted and for a nominal fee of £20, which would also help keep the temple maintained. As we have been treated so much so far, this seemed a drop in the ocean and we were more than happy to pay. After being offered some tea which I stupidly accepted, as the milk was pre-poured and tasted foul, so struggled to get it down. Then went to a hotel, that seemed deserted and ate some prepared food banquet style, with the chiefs watching us eat, tbh I didn’t really enjoy the food that much. Best part at the hotel was the frogs in the toilets! It scared someone quite a lot when they were going for a wee and it jumped up at them!!
Back at the temple/monastery in arandathpura, we wondered about the ancient royal gardens which had baths, swimming pools.
BEAVER STORY
Nearer the monastery there was a large stand-out rock, which had stairs up it. On top of this high rock there were fantastic views of arandathpura. Stayed till dark so we could see the dagobas lit up, quite something.
Later we went back into the monastery for dinner and had the best dinner so far. Very good chicken curry, much better than the dodgy meal at the rural jungle place!
On the way back stopped at the small monks becoming proper monks and watched this for a bit. Played a couple of games of uno in the girls room, and made many beaver jokes.
Day 7 Wednesday
Off to trincomelee or trinco as SL call it for short. It was a longish drive up north and the first time our malaria tablets that we had been taking for days were to become useful according to the guidelines for areas at high risk of malaria. When we got there you could tell it was amongst the Tamil areas as there were many army personnel with AK47’s patrolling the streets, a little unnerving! We went to a Hindu temple that was pretty rubbish and tacky, the only good bit was dave smashed a coconut (something youre suppose to do) and it covered a load of school kids. We left here, and now was beach time! I assumed that the beach was nearby as we could see many from the temple, but our drive was long, as we were looking for a beach that was “very beautiful.” We finally rocked up to some beach, backed by a hotel, getting all excited to go in the sea, but they wanted to get lunch at the hotel and apparently the hotel was expecting a large group so wouldn’t take us. So we continued down the coast and got to a hotel with a large security fence. Presumable “Dr Dias police eye hospital surgeon” got us past the gates, to the grounds of a very plush hotel. They agreed to let us eat their buffet lunch, use their swimming pool and their beach! Brilliant! Good food at buffet, nice and fresh, but had to refrain from the curry, was starting to feel the effects of too much spice! Messed around in the sea briefly and then the jellyfish started to become an issue, and the more you looked the more there were, grrr. They stung Ann and I, it was a bit of a tingly feeling not too bad. Even so carried on messing around in the sea throwing a tennis ball around. The waves were surprisingly high, so we spent a while body surfing the waves. Considering it was a picturesque beach with quiet couples on, probably made quite a lot of noise, BANTER. Got stung again, a bit worse this time, on my belly, so came in. went up to the bar on the beach for some water, and noticed they sold beer, so had a corona for like £2, and it was a larger bottle than we get, brilliant, went down a treat!
We were then told we could go to the island we could see on the horizon. It was bare cheap to get there and the drivers waited until you were finished and took you back, deal noel. When walking to the boat with the driver he told me he knew a bit of English, so I told him I knew a bit of Singhalese. Then I point to heather “kathi” (ugly), dave “naraka.” He found this amusing. And asked if I knew any Tamil, no, so he taught us vanakkam is hello and nandri is thank you. On the boat trip, we found out Emily didn’t like boats so started we started rocking it from side to side. The driver found this funny so started steering left and right sharply, to make her feel worse! Hahaa. His next joke on Emily was to tell her we had to jump off the boat, a way out from the shore. She looked a bit petrified! He asked me when we got on shore why is she scared, so I told him she is tiny, he laughed and said she is like a baby.
The island was fantastic, very narrow, one side was for boats launching, some AK47 guards in the middle and a small coral beach leading down to the coral bay. A few local looking people were there, but not many at all. We all shared a couple of snorkels and goggles and there was a myriad of bright and colourful fish. Had a lot of fun swimming around taking underwater photos of the fish. Unfortuantely we had to leave. When we got to the boat, the driver was told he was told off for not making us wear life jackets, so had to wear them on the way back.
Back at the hotel went into the pool and were pretty raucous, probably annoying all the rich families boringly relaxing around the pool with dullard books. Then we had to leave, sad faces all round as we had a lot of fun here! And we had a late dinner at the monastery. Everyone seems very tired except me! Got to keep up the chirp! Currently larry and dave are fast asleep so I probably should crack on or c-r-ack on, as larry would say.
Day 8 Thursday
Back at the monastery to have some breakfast and say good bye to the priest. He gave us some presents, which were Ceylon tea and postcards of the area. Now back on the road again. We went of to a rock called Sigiriya, which was simply colossal and had an ancient palace/citadel on the top. We walked through the ancient royal gardens leading up to the rock (some of the oldest in Asia). The rock had vertical walls and went straight up 650 ft. whilst climbing up a spiral staircase we entertained some school kids by saying naraka and pointing at dave. This lead to a “rock platform” and then there was another climb to the very top, where the palace was. Through the lion feet entrance and up some dodgy steps to the top, which was quite large in size. At one point I looked wistfully into the distance across the jungle around and a gust of wind whipped off my hat! Luckily found it further along! At the “bath” I sat presumably where the king sat and did a rendition of borats “king of my castle.” We then found some German tourist and named them Hans, Grüber and Brinke. These stereotypical Deutschlanders, with bright blonde hair, blue eyes, fags hanging from every orifice and lederhosen entertained us for a bit.
A longish drive to aunties mums house, but banter was rife in the van, entertaining ourselves with the girls stupid girly magazines. Once at the house found B’s granddad had a tuk-tuk! This ones no slouch though, we’re talking 3 stroke here! As we were inevitably excited by this he said he would take us out for a spin. Big smiles all round :D. he was low on petrol so stopped at the petrol station, which sold petrol in disused glass bottles. Our petrol came courtesy of an old wine bottle, nice! Smiling vividly at everyone around us, with many bewildered smiles back at us!
After heather and I had a tour of the garden by auntie as it was her house when she was a kid. In the garden there was loads of plants; kesel, king coconut, coconuts, lime, pepper corns, coco, coffee, avocado, chillies, chilly leaves, jack fruit, bread fruit, treacle, cashew nuts, guava, cardamom.
Then went up the hill to a small temple/ Buddha post and buddhi showed us one of his boyhood toys… a palm leaf with long stem. You sit on the leaf and someone pulls you along, über fun.
Back at house was shown an old sword from 1880 which was used by a SL leader of a battalion against the british. When left was very emotional with grandma crying and so was heather (woofter). We all had a pop of bowing down to their grandparents feet to say good bye and pay our respects to them.
Additional story: stopped by police for a check which was fairly common but they wanted to see our ID’s. then Dr Dias went out, came back to say he told them his friend is the chief constable and they said we could carry on with our journey, no more hassle! Who doesn’t that guy know, the silver panther strikes again!
This happened as we drove onwards through kandy, up into the mountains. Up some very precarious roads. It was pitch black and the we were uncertain of the location of our rest place. Spent some time winding up Emily about the steep slopes off the road and how the bumpy, holey and dusty roads weren’t ideal for driving a minibus on. Once we arrived we found a picturesque house on the mountina side. We played a couple of games of uno in the girls room. Then went up to our room, larry and dave had normal beds, I had some fold out make-yourself bed. I laid in it, and it collapsed after a couple of minutes. So I ended up taking the mattress off and putting it on the floor. And had a terrible sleep.
Day 9 Friday
Woke up after terrible sleep at around 5am, views were good with a mushy, low laying fog/cloud, with mountains protruding out of the cloud and a sparsely clouded sky reddened by the rising sun. went back to bed and woke again at 8am and went off straight into the nearby stream with waterfall for a bathe. Was a lovely cool temperature and we messed around in there for an hour or so.
After this we went back to our rooms to dry and change, larry and dave already had done so. So I went on the balcony outside to dry off and put some boxers on. After feeling nice and liberated by standing outside in the nude. I heard some noise, looking up the mountainside fairly far up, I could see two builders on top of a house waving at me and shouting stuff in Singhalese. So more feeling like I got caught out, rather than embarrassed (I mean why would I…) I gave a wave back, covered myself up, and decided they probably had a story for the lads in the bar later that night. “you know what they say about Europeans…?, whats that?, they have massive… appetite to be naked” is how I would imagine the story to go for them.
Anyway drove back down the mountain with its hideously bumpy roads, and I felt really ill so this made it many times worse. Also us boys sat in the back, above the rear axel, which if you don’t know means you get THE jerkiest ride, queasy… now down in Kandy city centre to a large temple, opposite was the queens hotel, where my grampa stayed during the revolution when Ceylon became Sri Lanka, it’s a good story, I might write it up as an extra at the end.
The temple was surrounded by huge gates, with security posts, on the way through one of the security guards tugged quite hard on Ann’s dress which was quite amusing. And a bloke went up to buddhi and said you have to be a licensed to be a tour guide here. Nah mate even if he was buddhi can do wtf he wants, hes a child actor of the finest quality of a huge hit of SL eastenders, back down sunshine. To get into the temple building, there was another security gate and ticket booth. The guard here felt my pockets, ushered me on, then pulled me back, to have a good grope of my groin! Cheers mate…
The temple however is the home of buddhas tooth, which for 50 yrs was paraded around on one elephant Raja (Tiger in Aladdin, Ann I know more about Disney than you 1-0 me). He is now stuffed and viewable he looked, like a true elephant gentleman. The inside of the temple was beautiful with wall paintings and gold décor. We offered a lotus flower each to Buddha and I tired out the prayer hands gesture and said Sädu, Sädu, Sädu (basically amen). Inside the temple we followed the story of buddha’s tooth, the last slide ending, with a sentence with the words “the Britishers” – British people…
Got back into the van and drove to aunties friends house nearby. They had a large house which was nicely decorated. On the tour we came across a piano Heather played some lame rendition of something or other, which bored everyone to death. So I spiced it up with the short and sweet knuckle tune, much more like it! Had a tour of their garden which had a tearaway cow on the loose. Buddhi got a leech attached to him so we made a fairly hasty retreat back into the house. The food they had cooked was immense, I was still feeling pretty rough, so couldn’t eat much, but the chicken, pork with pineapple and cashew nut sauce/curry. After went for a photo and had a fruit which was white with a pink tinge, it looked like this…. And ive drawn some dodgy picture of the fruit… when trying to get some of this fruit sasanka jumped on a plant pot smashing it up, naraka sasanka.
Onwards to a nearby tea plantation/ factory. The building was 107 years old and the machinery inside had not been changed, ever. Good old British engineering and manufacturing. Learnt the tea plants are all the same the tea varieties comes by the size of the tea, hence where on the plant its picked or when in the season its picked. With the free tour, we got a free complimentary tea (BOP?, not sure what that means, buts its what ive written down!) which was very nice, even dave enjoyed it (coffee drinker). Young! (meaning - lets go!!)
From the tea plantation to the ayleeya (elephant) orphanage!! Got into and watched some white kids (we stood with the SL school kids) bottle feed some calves, who could down a large bottle of milk very quickly. the elephants in this section looked dishevelled and one was injured. We followed the mass of school kids up over the hill past a sign that said “don’t go beyond this point” to find loads more elephants. Stood there for a while, while the kids were there they looked at us more than the elephants! Heather asked in Sinhalese “how they were” or something to that description they looked sheepish and probably quite surprised we could speak some of their language. Buddhi said after their teacher was encouraging them to talk back, bless ‘em. Sasanka was on top form, getting my attention he pointed at an elephant and said “look, his cock!” there a noble elephant stood, eroused… I told him I was hung like an elephant too, he responded after some consideration “youre a lier!” haha. Went back over to the bottle feeding bit to find we were the only people left. Even the workers were no where to be seen, could have happily walked up to an elephant and touched it. But probably not happily walked away. Watched the intricate nature of the trunk working away at the leaves and branches, was quite incredible. So the end of our travels around, and after a very long trip back, we were exhausted. We had some dosa’s. and whilst I was writing this day up buddhi was fast asleep next to me, looking forward to a lie in! YEY!
Day 10 Saturday
Woke early as used to these starts now! But got back to sleep till about 9 and joined buddhi on the balcony. Steadily joined by everyone else. At around 11ish me heather ann and buddhi went to the nearby shops to buy a tennis ball. On the way buddhi showed us some plants that when you poked them, their leaves closed up like venus-fly traps. Decent. When got to shop, brought some cocomilk drinks. Mine and heather came in a non-squared container which was cut and we had to hold carefully and at an angle, was yum though. Sat around here till 3 ish when lunch came in the form of Chinese noodles stir fry, nom. We then played some cricket in the driveway, and was trying to watch the ball in the car window and catch the ball behind in our hands, took a lot of effort and skill! Dave the insolent peasant hit a window, no breakage, but we thought best to stop. Then at around 6 buddhis uncle came in his car. Me, ann, dave, larry all cramed into the back of his car. And we were taken on “tour” to a takeaway. Buddhis uncle couldn’t get up the road, so had to stop at the bottom. He said if anyone needs to get by you will need to move the car. Soon after a car beeped, I jumped at the chance for a cheeky spin, but alas the car continued along the behind.
At the uncles house, which was in Colombo, with a rooftop overlooking the city. We got given some red wine, this means heather chats too much… We all ended up having a dance, even if it was reluctant on some parts. The dance then turned to a dance off between the girls and the boys. Then had some “good muslim food” as one of buddhis aunts described it! Then an “emotional” good bye to everyone, heather made a scene, as per. Me, heather and ann got a ride back with the one and only DR Dias, whom greatly entertained us with stories and getting us past millions of road block policemen along the main road in Colombo. ADD IN STORY FROM DR DIAS.
Day 11 Sunday
National holiday due to it being a fullmoon. Woke up earliest and early at 7 am came out and had a tea with auntie chatted for about 2/3 hours, until everyone else got up. Sun bathed/ played uno on the balcony with increased velocity due to the jumping in rule being applied. Went to an unlces house where we slept in the first night. Then went to a arts and crafts fair in Colombo. Two words Retail and Therapy… you know who im talking about… chatted to a guy in a stall cos needed to waste some time. Part way through he realised I was using Sinhalese words and said “im speaking English to you, and you are speaking sinhala to me!” utterly shocked haha. This was clearly a surprise and joyous shock to him! Then dave came in and start to abuse me in sinhala. He seemed even more surprised, two of us knew sinhala!
In the evening went up the road and saw a play type thing, was strange and even buddhi had know idea what was going on so we left, almost tripping over a stray cow asleep on the grass behind us. Currently buddhi is asleep with the camcorder in his hand, thumb still poised over the tocuh screed ready to press paly, bless, need to find my camera for a photo of this!!
Day 12 Monday
Shopping day….
Woke up fairly early sleeping beauty next to me. So read some of my book that I had only got about 3 pages into, and got to chapter 6, nice!! Got some tea and told a story about a gecko in heather bed. They screamed and jumped out of bed. Ann went to the rescue, but the gecko jumped up at her, making her scream and run away. They woke larry up whom “rescued” them, chivalry isn’t dead. Dave slept through the whole commotion.
Only 9:30 heather was ready to sunbath so I joined her, by 10ish everyone was up on the top balcony playing jump in uno. And played a game we called “I went to SL and brought…. And had to choose a sinhalese word me, heather and ann got to 22 words, not too bad!! Banter for some reason had hit a low and wandered around local town of nugegoda, me and larry brought some fanta from a tiny stall, the bottles looked about 10 years old, but was cold and tasted good and cost the equivalent of 5p. we then we got some tuk-tuks to Colombo! Banter increased 10 fold. Had a stupendous ride, driver seemd to love our sinhala phrases. Got to a shopping mall, brought some dirt cheap DVD’s, I got Aladdin, and then realised I left my SL flag in the tuk-tuk, nightmare! So found a shop with some flags on the shelf, I asked for one, and they got some rubber balls down. NO THE FLAG! But they explained they were décor, bad times.
We then had a big debate about where we should eat, everyone with something different in mind, and ended up eating at pizza hut. Had a bit of fun teasing Emily about being my girlfriend, and that we were on our first date BANTAR, got chips thrown at me didn’t go down well… Then got a tuk-tuk ride home with Emily and auntie, played some uno and that is that. Lovely.
Quotes
Emily “I need a man”
Emily “are the shops going to be inside or outside?” – “they’re in a buildin” “so will I need suncream….”
After heather dropped a piece of cake, larry goes “it seems Alfred the great burnt the cakes and heather has managed to ruin the cakes!”
Ann “im putting it in the hole, like you said”
Heather “I really want to see a beaver”
Emily “just put your brella down” (I think that’s in relation to the fruit, brella?!)
Emily – after listing animals seen “BEAVER!”
Emily “its free to receive”
Emily “I wasn’t planning on buying a rug” after asking a question about, if a rug would use up excess baggage…
Emily “its like a snake, but not”
Emily - when she was getting free water from reception asked if she wanted 1 bottle or 2 “I thought it was a trick question!”
Stories
Buddhi proposed to me with a ring made from a plant from a tree which loops around with a hooky bit on it. Unfortuantely for me I responded ey pa (no). maybe this is why buddhi didn’t sleep in the same bed with me one night, sigh…
During time at buddhis uncles house, had billirini (not sure how to spell it, it was a arab chicken rice dish). The chicken was deep at the bottom of the bowl, I told larryyou have to dig deep to get it. So with a flexy plastic spoon he dived in. got a piece of chicken hooked, but due to it being wedged, it flicked the spoon up and sprayed rice all over the place, wall, ceiling you name it!
The kimbolee (crocodile) story
At the temple where we went inside the vicinity of the bow tree and had a painting commissioned for us. One of the paintings already there had a story of picture of a crocodile and a monkey, I asked what the story was, no one knew, not even the priest. The next day we asked again to another priest he had no idea either. But Sasanka piped up and spoke for ages. With his general big grin and enthusiastic talk, he told the story in sinhala. There were laughs in the Sinhalese camp. When translated by buddhi, he kept getting interrupted by aunty. So aunty told the story. At this stage waiting for an insight into a Buddhist story and she told it with such precision and normality. “the crocodile and the monkey were best friends. One day the crocodiles wife asked for some brains. She wanted the monkeys brains. The crocodile didn’t want to, but also wanted to please his wife. So went to the monkey come with me on my back to the other bank there are many fruit trees there. The monkey was hesitant, but trusted his friend. On the way the crocodile stopped and announced he had really taken him so he could take his brains to his wife, and asked if he could have his brains. The monkey quickly responded “oh sorry I have left my brains back at the shore, you will have to take me back.” This seemed like an odd story, and then we found out the little rascal Sasanka had made up the story and was just repeating a story he had been told, and admitted it was nothing like the actual story!
Me, heather and Ann got in a car with Dr Dias through Colombo back from buddhis uncles hosue. There were many policemen on the way and we got stopped about three separate times on a short piece of road. Every time. “hello I am Dr Dias police hospital eye surgeon” to a response of instant hand waving and “please, go.” No showing of documentation like the other drivers had to! Amazing.
Story as told by Dr Dias.. Dr Dias was driving 20 miles south of Colombo. I may have been going fast. Policemen with a speed camera caught me and told me to pull over. Normally you should walk to the policecar, but I stay in my car and wait. They came to the window and I said what is it I have done? Then said “I am Dr Dias, police eye hospital surgeon.” They suddenly were apologetic, and said “oh Dr Dias we are sorry, please go.” The silver panther legend strikes again!
When we had a tour guide around aranduaphura ruins, he had a very funny way of telling things. At the first place he told us about CF Baines, British Archealogist, 1885, Baines, CF… every time he mentioned the guy, and would look at you smile and tell you his name again, haha. So we played a game, at each new ruin he took us to restarted the game, and you weren’t allowed to laugh. This encouraged silly questions; like why are the dagobas bellend shaped, and he mentioned ceremonies happened at full moon so we asked if they were like the full moon parties in Thailand… he described the look on the face of a Buddha as “sorrowfully…” another treat from the tour guide was to describe the impenetrable dagobas like a womans womb, you cant get in it!
Singing Queen in Sinhalese
Madtha pahdina owney bicyclay, bicyclay!, bicyclay! – I want to ride my bicycle, bicycle!, bicycle!
My first dictionary
Ugly – kathi
Im – madtha
I like – ma ma gamma dhay
And – saha
Very – bohomma
Hungry – badha guinee
Drink – bema
King coconut – tambalee
Cows – harrack – cow – harracake
Look – balanna
Cat – poosa – cats – pooso or bahlala
Mine – magay
Fat – mahadtah(i)
Dog – bahla – dogs – bahloo
Quickly – tuk-tuk-tuk
Bird – karoola
Ow – iee
Smelly – ganddi
Bossy – waddeeak
Tasty lads on tour on the banter bus – parsa kohloo gamine yannawa, veeheloo busehkee
